"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." -Germaine Greer
I love this quote. I found it on someone's blog, I think, but since I started this post almost a month ago, I can't remember whose blog it was! But it is so true. Dave and I are not the same people that we were when we got married, even 18 months ago. And we are not the same people that we were when we got engaged 22 months ago. And we are certainly not the same people that we were when we first met 26 months ago! We have changed, and we have had to fall in love with each other again and again.
I think that this quote is referring to something a little more long term though. I mean, even though we have changed, we haven't changed very much. And I think that most of our changes have been positive ones! So it's easy to keep falling in love with each other. But over the course of a long life (which I hope we both have!), we will both change in ways that we can't even think of now. And we need to be willing to step back, see the person that we're married to for who they really are, and then decide to fall in love with each other again and again.
Here are some words that have given me comfort about relationship, dating, and marriage for many a year. They are the words of President Spencer W. Kimball. They are from his book Faith Precedes the Miracle, and he used them in talks on several occasions. The point that he was making was that people often confuse lust for love, and then he follows that point with a clear, loving, wonderful definition of love. I've underlined some of my favorite parts.
"There must be common ideals and standards. There must be a great devotion and companionship. Love is cleanliness and progress and sacrifice and selflessness. This kind of love never tires nor wanes but lives through sickness and sorrow, poverty and privation, accomplishment and disappointment, time and eternity. For the love to continue, there must be an increase constantly of confidence and understanding, of frequent and sincere expression of appreciation and affection. There must be a forgetting of self and a constant concern for the other. Interests, hopes, objectives must be constantly focused into a single channel."
I'm working on some of these, so that I can love better. And I am so happy for the 3 wonderful Valentine's Days that I've had with Dave. To avoid sounding oober cheesy, I will end this post here. Thanks for reading some of my favorite thoughts on love.